in a state of confusion and some shit about what leo's thinking

Just woke up from resting. Today at work, slept for half an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. Too tired due to lack of sleep previous night cos of watching some taiwan idol drama series. Man, suddenly feel 卓文萱 is damn cute normally i dun watch this kinda series becos of their stories that i feel are lame and almost the same, which most girls and some women like them. And i dunno why. well women is hard to understand for Leo. OK, enough of Leo's crappy comments.

Thinking back of what sweechee said "Are you in love? your blogs are so emo." What emo anyway? means i'm sad? i dunno maybe is some mixed emotions of lust, desire, boredom and tiredness. Am i in love? I dun really know, seem to not, i think? Well, normally i write blog on impulse that i dun usually think. anything that comes to my mind i'll just type it. Mostly is unfiltered and true on that very day, and maybe after weeks or months i go back to my blog read it i would laugh at the situation and incidents that i type. I laughed at my childish reasoning with those kids in poly when they commented in their blog on me. I laugh at my crazy blog saying i'm in love with so and so in my poly days which i do it for fun. And to boring stuff i do during my poly days. Like confessing to random ppl i know for the fun of it. And saying i love you to almost everyone on msn and getting lame remarks on msn. Well as to yong xiang say i may not have found the one i really love. That's why i say i dunno what's love and i dun need it. Well to me, i think having company is ok but not relationship that's what i told him. Company doesn't have to be any gender spending time enjoying it.Is what best for me right now.

Well i can kinda understand why people dun like me in the first place, cos i'm too true to myself and being direct on comments when i know the person. And comment on almost everything that i dun like even that when it concerns me or not. When i horny, i AM really horny. But usually they think i'm horny all the time cos i like the stare. I got this bad habit to stare. And in my mind i would think about comment like, why the hell is the woman's bra is showing from the side and it's damn fucking disgusting. why the hell is she not adjusting it and keep on staring. And why the hell is her butt crack is showing and her butt ain't as nice looking at all. And why the hell is she fucking ugly. why does that girl's breast looks like she is heavily padded. and why is that stick woman walking in public. It doesn't means i'm horny all the time you dun see my hung standing all the while, right? I stare becos i can't just go up to them and saying it in thier face. And i dun know them i might get a slap for it, if i do that.

And this paragraph is for those that knows me in nyp judo, i'm not horny all the time. You dun see my dick erected all the time do you? Everytime say leo is horny, you all buay sian arh. Leo's head dun always think of Chest, Ass and Legs all the time in a sexual. Although he likes admiring them when they look nice but not is a sexual way. Leo admires them like ppl going to museum to admire art pieces, well the streets is leo's art gallery. Leo can look at them and not get sexcited.Leo is older than most of you he'll only get sexcited if the woman is naked or have sensual body contact. Leo dun look at women all the time, if you notice leo loves to look at clouds and scenery too.

Leo's reality check.

Ok. Few days ago that blog is just a spur of moment. Keep your mind clear, Leo. you know that no one's gonna go crazy with you and even enjoy what you do. So, why have that though of thinking of her when you know that she ain't gonna be just as crazy as you do. Love to you is just emotions of lust and attraction you should control your lust more. Beside giving love is like giving responsibility and care will you really care and you dun even like responsibilities.

ok reality check done signing off.

the meet up

Yesterday morning basically was ard noon, i went to meet up with my army buddy cum poly judo senior and his best fren in poly went subway to crap basically on anything.Acutally i was suppose to meet my poly frens to play soccer at 4pm but in the end i was too relax talking crap i end up cancelling the soccer game.right ard the afternoon we start to walk ard aimlessly for a while it's been along time ever since i walk aimlessly. We suddenly crave for buffet but when we start we only have an hour and a half to order,but in the end we can even survive thru an hour seems like get 1-2 yrs older makes lot of difference. We use to eat mountains of food when we go buffet,for now i only can finish only a plate. After buffet we went walking aimlessly again, looking at girl then walked into the cinema they were thinking of watching a movie but the movies we intend to watch is either i watched or my army buddy watched it b4. Then i said let's just walk ard aimlessly again. we walk and we flet tired and went in mac to have a drink and talk crap again basically we just crap till it's time for my army budddy's best fren to meet his platoon mate for a drink. And in the end we all just went with him for a drink, got to know his fren he doesn't talk much i think it's becos we not very familiar yet. then we start talking about stories of our slack army life 5 years ago. The process of how i went thru mono intake in 46 SAR become a regimental police and finailly became a storeman cum waiter cum untrained pastrian, and then we craping encounters those erie ones. And my amry buddy will start sayiing how 3 ppl died in front of him. All sorts of crap we start crap even untill women, the ard 11 we went to play some pool and end our day then we notice that there dun have NR2 so i took 1N instead to yishun didn't go memorise where it's gonna stop i just sat till the end it ended at katib mrt and i start walking to yishun mrt hoping i can find a bus stop that has NR2 and i ended deciding to walk home to woodlands from there when i can't find a bus stop with NR2 it was 1 plus when i started walk i played my song on my handphone listening to dick cowboy thru my headphone but when i start walking i suddenly think of this girl which made my lonely walk more enjoyable although it was quite tiring after the walk i'm still happy thinking of her and writing this blog. Maybe leo shouldn't jump to any conclusion that he say's he dunno wat's love. Maybe this feeling is just a brief monent of thought, well i think i must not get my hopes up or even think abt it but afterall we are just frens.

Bored

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

suddenly got bored and done this

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Leo has graduated from NYP and small thoughts of his past 25 years

For those who are disappointed think Leo would fail and have repeat modules. You are wrong i never failed a single module in my whole 3 years in NYP. Only got lousy grades for them because i love studying in the last minute. Sorry for the dissappointment.

Has graduated sum days ago (20th May 2008 graduation day) but only now have the mood to type a blog.

Finally graduate from NYP a place i love and hate to be in. For love i like the lectures and my tut grp that i spend my 3 years with. Hated for the cock ppl that do a lot of cock stuff in the campus during my 3 years.
After getting bad grades for my 'N' levels in secondary sch i choose to got to ITE instead and went to learn automotive in heavy vehicles after graduating from ITE yishun.
I realized i'm not very fit to be a grease monkey and there comes National Service a place where every boy learns how to be a man some way or the other.Same old stuff BMT in 46th Armour posted to Ammo Base after a provost course having a Fucked up yaya corporal, lao jiao ask you do cock stuff ,teaching you how to tuang when doing your duties for 8months Then tranfered to supply transport training school, catering training wing, to be a waiter cum store man serving the minister lunch, doing officiers catering and bais of IC and racism in camp.
After NS is work went thru some logistic work and sales work having know competitors staff put down our product when thier product quality is worst then us.
Then got to go Nanyang polytechnic to study, since after all these years it made me realise how every person spend thier life studying 10plus years just to get a better job in life and so called work for a living. The better the economy the hapier the ppl when economy goes bad the ppl complians and rising living cost can't meet ppl's living standards.
So what's living a life anyway, to most ppl here is having a house maybe a car have enough money for children's education.To some other parts of the world living is just to feed the stomach no let it hunger and have water to quench thier thirst.
So what are living to you anyway. i keep asking myself over and over. Searching a life which has no definite answer.

To me right now i lead a normal life so thats my life for the past 25 years, then for the rest of my life i'll keep searching for the answer till i go to my deathbed. While i stumble and fall in the process of searching the answer.